Invisible Woman
“She is survived by her three sons and her partner of thirty years,” the papers said.
Sometimes the braver periodicals even named her, this partner.
partner?
Did they own a bakery together? A curio shop?
Partner is too small a word pedestrian business-like.
I used to like the word.
And what shall we call ourselves?
Lover at best is dated
Girlfriend dismissive, trivial
We are life partners, I would whisper in her ear,
family.
For this lesbian poet who risked life and art and all to name her love
This warrior who did not fear the wrath of publishers or critics or scholars or college administrators
To hear it now, and often without a name or gender, evokes
the closet
Undrape! You are not guilty to me, nor stale, nor discarded*
Nor invisible.
For Adrienne Rich and Michelle Cliff
*Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself"
*Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself"
Comments
In L.A., everyone referred to their long-term partners as partners— everyone. I spent two years thinking about the restrictions of this language and the inclusiveness of it.
And the strangeness. I felt as though I was should get ready to ride a horse or start a business with my own partner.
But, today, I'm thinking about the word partner— and spouse and wife and lover— in a new way because of your poem. Your beautiful poem. Love this so much!
And I'm with you. In a way, there is no term that is not weird in some way. It would feel bizarre to say "wife." As if I were in drag and playing a role. And so, if I ever get so lucky as to have a person in my life to love in that manner again, I think I will just introduce her as my (insertnamehere).