"I am playing with myself,
I am playing with the world's soul,
I am the dialogue between myself and el espiritu del mundo.
I change myself, I change the world."

Gloria Anzaldúa

10 November, 2014

walking toward health

juggling  is hard

I know I've recently alluded to health issues on this blog, and I've definitely whined about them on Facebook; now I will whine more specifically. I'm working on becoming healthy. And it's not working as well as I want it to. 

Recently, I discovered that the medicine I was taking for diabetes was making me sick. So we tried something new. Then added something else. Then increased the something else.  I've also been walking every day that it is not raining (so I missed two days) and eating much better. And? It's not working. So I imagine, though I do not know this for sure, that the next step is insulin. I will see the doctor Thursday. 
I am not thrilled about this. In some ways it feels like a failure. But a friend of mine who has two Type I children assures me that I will actually feel much better after my blood sugar stabilizes. And what the heck. 

The good part of all of this is the daily walk with my dog(s). That's been great. I think we are all feeling better emotionally because of the walks. And I've lost 8 pounds. That can't hurt. 

So I am writing about this mostly because of the struggle it is for me to work on my diet. I am proud of the steps I've taken, but I am also aware that I am often on the brink of saying "eff it" and eating a pound of chocolate. And, I haven't been too successful with these lifestyle changes. A month, two months, and then regression. So I am talking and thinking about this obsessively. 

So, if you have positive energy, send it my way. If you have success stories about lifestyle changes or diabetes, share them! 

I know I can do this. I am a former smoker with 15 years of non smoking. I am a recovering alcoholic with 4 years and 10 months of sobriety. I can do this. But I also know I need help. I cannot do it alone. So I guess I'm going to talk about it--and write about it. I will try to do so in moderation, though. 

Thanks for reading!

9 comments:

Cassi Renee said...

Gah --if only lifestyle changes to healthy were easy! I'm sorry to hear you have diabetes, living with that must make many things more complicated.

After having both hips replaced by 51, I am trying to make healthy exercise a priority --this has never come naturally for me :-) I joined the local Y and started swimming, and while I'm only a couple of months in, I've found that I really look forward to that time and am not struggling to make it a priority. I hope that means I'll be able to keep it up.

Gary's third pottery blog said...

A few months ago I starting trying to cut out sugar too, and have a clearer head because of it, and feel better. It is in everything, but if you choose, say, walnuts and a banana instead of the chocolate, you may feel pretty good :)

Elizabeth O'Nuanain said...

Sending you positive energy, kitten. On the advice front: rid your fridge of diet coke (or whatever sodas may lie therein). It's tough to give those up, but in a few weeks you'll notice things like sleeping better, better digestion, hydration and mood. I replaced it with a giant pitcher of water with lemon slices and a couple sprigs of cilantro. Dog walking is wonderful! I love it because I don't think of it as exercising so much as an opportunity to enjoy watching Tillie's wonderful swagger and to chat with strangers. Go forth, talk to strangers and enjoy the swish of Judy's tail. I love you.

Karen Jensen said...

Heidi, I am rid of the diet coke. I still do one occasionally when I'm out, but I've done away with it in the house.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

Hi Sweet Karen,

You know my story, but I'll share it here again for support and in solidarity. I have had MANY ups and downs with addictive substances. I am seven-plus years alcohol sober and almost one year sugar (and all artificial sweeteners) sober. The sugar, I think, was probably the hardest to do because I had to give up bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, basically anything white that quickly turns into sugar in my bloodstream. I've gone off sugar before only to start hitting it hard again, so I recognize that my story is one of struggle, not victory. Progress isn't a straight path to perfection, as we know, right? This last year I am striving to stay sugar sober (practicing these principles in all of my affairs) because my blood sugar levels have been high (even without sugar in my diet!), and I want to do whatever I can to take care of it but I fight against it being very difficult for me to take care of myself. Oh the therapy! I know that one thing I MUST do more is exercise, but I struggle so just getting myself out the door! I am glad that you shared yourself here. You are inspirational and amazing. I love you.

slow panic said...

Sending lots of positive energy and and encouragement!

Scott K. Johnson said...

Hi Karen,

Thanks for sharing. Sending you all sorts of positive energy!

I live with type 1 diabetes, so I know my perspective is a little bit biased... but I wanted to offer a thought that might help?

I'm oversimplifying here, but insulin is nothing more than a hormone your body isn't producing correctly anymore. It's not a highly toxic chemical substance or anything like that - it's maybe more like hormone replacement therapy.

Though it is a very powerful hormone, so we all have to be careful with it, and it may take some time to learn.

I also agree with your friend - you'll feel a lot better once your blood sugars are better. And with insulin, you'll probably actually see results! I can't imagine how frustrating it must have been for you to be working so hard and not seeing any progress.

Best of luck, and please keep us posted.

Thanks for being brave enough to share all of this.

Karen Jensen said...

Thank you, Scott. They added Januvea (sp) to my routine, and it seems to be helping. Still working on it!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I just read this on FB and have not vetted the accuracy, but I have heard good things about curcumin from medical professionals, so I am sharing. http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/turmeric-extract-100-effective-preventing-type-2-diabetes-ada-journal-study-finds

For me, exercising for health only and DGAFing about weight loss did the trick.