Professor J's Place

06 February, 2008

Holy Shit! I am going to get a job washing dishes for a living!

Excerpt from student paper today:

Being politically correct is a way that we speak here in America so that we don’t offend any whining babies. Only pathetically weak people that don’t have the balls to say what they feel and mean are politically correct [idiots]. Society and the media have made it to where people are now afraid to say what they actually mean. Comedians are now the only people who actually speak the truth about society. Except now even Saturday Night Live wont put anything that is not politically correct for fear that some left wing idiot will throw a fit a make NBC apologize.

At this point in her reading of this cogent argument, my boss said, "does he realize you will be reading this paper?"

Oh yes. And it gets better!

Today’s society has become way to obsessed with how things need to be right and to make people feel better. The correct term these days for garbage man is a sanitation engineer. No, a garbage man is no kind of engineer he has no college degree from an engineer college. There fore he should not be able to call himself an engineer to make himself feel better. If he want to have a respectable job title then he should go to college and earn a degree where he can actually say hes an engineer.


Do I
have to say (sic)?



The one word that completely blows my mind and is absolutely ridiculous is how feminist want women to be spelled, womYn. Are you kidding me? You can’t just decide to change how you spell woman, that’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard of. Someone needs to either get a life or they need them to find themselves a man.


Need I say more? You can imagine me, sitting at my desk, trying to keep a kind face, and telling my student, who sits innocently--inches from my man-hating, humorless, womynly knee--that he was going to have to rewrite this essay to be an argument, rather than a rant.

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37 Comments:

OpenID bipolarlawyercook said...

OMFG. You poor dear.

February 6, 2008 at 7:00 PM  
Blogger Ophelia Rising said...

Oh. My. God.

I can't really begin to find the words. (Perhaps he might enjoy a career as a garbage man...? Although I'm pretty sure that most of the garbage men out there would be much more enlightened.)

February 6, 2008 at 7:34 PM  
Blogger Mrs. T said...

I think you should enlighten him with your own politically incorrect critique. Say what you mean. :) Maybe something along the lines of "Politically correct language came about primarily because of stupid right wing nutjob assholes like you!"
Or something.

February 6, 2008 at 7:56 PM  
Blogger Mrs. G. said...

Big sigh. Bigger gag.

February 6, 2008 at 7:59 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Wooooooow. This is, officially, the most unintentionally funny thing I've read all week.

I'm speechless, really. Just, wow.

I would have been tempted to write "Are you kidding me? You can't just decide to turn in a grammatically incorrect, logically flawed, rambling piece of crap, that's the most insane thing I've ever heard. Someone needs to either get literate or they need to find themselves a van [to live in]" on his paper, give him an "F", and be done with it.

February 6, 2008 at 8:16 PM  
Blogger amymalia said...

Right. Ah-huh. Hmmm. I see.

You know, I actually have no words. This was so fantastically, deplorably hilarious I have to go sit down and consume large quantities of hard liquor before I can comment any further.

Amazing....

February 6, 2008 at 8:48 PM  
Blogger JCK said...

OH...MY. And you aren't making this up, right?

February 6, 2008 at 11:00 PM  
Blogger Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I hope you weren't "politically correct" in your critique!

February 6, 2008 at 11:03 PM  
Blogger Family Adventure said...

And this person is how old?

Wow.

Heidi

February 7, 2008 at 2:21 AM  
Blogger Zenmomma said...

Words escape me. What's the politically correct term for asshole?

February 7, 2008 at 10:05 AM  
Blogger The Grammar Snob said...

Oh my. I can't even come up with anything better than that. Oh my.

February 7, 2008 at 3:32 PM  
Blogger Chanda (aka Bea) said...

This kid can't be serious (oh, please tell me he is, at the very least, young and therefore allowed a small amount of pity for his stupid-narrow-minded-Iv'e-been-raised-in-shoebox-ways). What's the politically correct way to give someone an F?

February 7, 2008 at 3:57 PM  
Blogger Mary Alice said...

hahahahaahha. Hello?? I'm sorry.

February 7, 2008 at 6:29 PM  
Blogger Sojourner said...

Right on Melanie! I agree with her 100% and I would add "give 'im that knee! Right in the nuts!"

February 7, 2008 at 7:13 PM  
Blogger Lisa Milton said...

What a dumbass. Young, green, dumbass.

Now excuse me while I weep for our future.

February 7, 2008 at 9:05 PM  
Anonymous supertiff said...

please tell me, how DID you keep that knee from, um, kneeing him?

if he 'want' his opinion to be read seriously, perhaps he should work on his own education before urging the garbage man to go to school?

just saying...

February 8, 2008 at 3:12 AM  
Blogger we_be_toys said...

Oh my god - my knee would have exercised its primary function, I'm afraid.
This why you make the big bucks!

Oy girl!

February 8, 2008 at 9:14 AM  
Blogger mrs. blogoway said...

I guess this kid will grow and replace Bill O'Reilly...

February 8, 2008 at 10:14 AM  
Blogger mrs. blogoway said...

that's grow up (oops)

February 8, 2008 at 10:15 AM  
Blogger Misty said...

oh man... were you wishing to go back to the moments when your class did nothing? At least for a second or two???

February 8, 2008 at 12:22 PM  
Blogger Julie Pippert said...

OY!

Wow.

You know? Bless you for all you do and with such class. (And I mean the "bless you" in the nice, sincere way, not the Southern way LOL.)

February 8, 2008 at 4:25 PM  
Blogger anne said...

Hoo boy.

I've been slacking a bit in keeping up with my blog reading. What a post to come back to!

February 8, 2008 at 8:13 PM  
Blogger Grandy said...

Intereting that this writer definitely doesn't know his audience. ;) Not sure what argument he was trying to make, but if it was to crack us up, he won.

February 9, 2008 at 6:52 PM  
Blogger Pearl C. Pritchard said...

Oh. My. Gawd.

You poor, poor woman.

Unfortunately, 3/4 of my relatives would agree with that essay. It's horrifying. Some day I'll tell you about Christmas dinners at my mother's house.

Anyway, this is a chance to challenge his beliefs while helping him craft his argument. He's just repeating what other people (probably his family) tell him.

February 10, 2008 at 1:05 AM  
Anonymous AuthorMomWithDogs said...

Oh, I'm thinking between the spelling and grammar errors, and the rant rather than essay, I'd give this kid a politically correct "F." As in "failed to cut it as part of the human race."

February 10, 2008 at 10:14 AM  
Blogger Cheri said...

I don't know whether to giggle or shiver. Oy vey.

February 10, 2008 at 2:14 PM  
Blogger Claire B. said...

Seriously? He turned this paper in? I don't think he's all that "innocent."

February 10, 2008 at 4:11 PM  
Blogger Minnesota Matron said...

Sister, I share your pain. Last semester I was given an essay with this title: How Homosexuality is Destroying Civilization.

Oh my.

You know, I can't remember the details on this but the term 'politically correct' is actually a term conceptualized and deployed by a conservative think tank in order to start discrediting the kind of work feminists, people of color, gays/lesbians were doing to point out the inequities in the playing field.

The term itself is totally suspect!!!

Isn't that interesting?

February 10, 2008 at 6:07 PM  
Blogger Mike Golch said...

changeing things from a rant to an essay.well i'm good at ranting.(just my brother in law)especially when it comes to political injustices.He don't whant to hear it,oh yeh my sister and him both have jobs that have never been downsized or had them shipped overseas as I have.I better shut up now before this turns into a real rant,you see as an essayist I just flunked out.Par for the cource for me.

February 10, 2008 at 8:08 PM  
OpenID hippyhappyhay said...

either get a life or they need them to find themselves a man

oh golly, too funny, too darn funny.

Incidently I have never heard of that, womYn. Perhaps it's only politically correct american feminists wanting the change? I'd tend to swing towards womIn, more *phonetically correct*. Run that by him, see what he thinks ;)

February 10, 2008 at 9:09 PM  
Blogger Danger Panda said...

Not only is it a rant, it's one of those circular rants where either you agree with him or, by disagreeing, you prove his point.

Hey, beats actually thinking, right?

February 12, 2008 at 2:06 PM  
Blogger Mark A. said...

The sad thing is that I actually agree with part of that little shit-storm. Part of what that student is recognizing, likely unintentionally, is that euphemisms only serve to conceal the truth. I'm not the type to plagiarize (at least not on another Lit major's blog) so I'll just go ahead and hyperlink to a clip of George Carlin's bit on euphemisms.

That said, I'm always amazed at the level of audacity some of the students display. Repeatedly, throughout every school day, I have to remind myself that no matter how aggravated I get, using a term such as "dickbrain" is wildly inappropriate.

February 13, 2008 at 8:56 PM  
Blogger Magpie said...

Wow. All she could say was, wow.

February 15, 2008 at 6:14 PM  
Blogger Irish Goddess said...

Oh my god. This one got under my skin!!!!! First of all, how on earth do you DEAL with people like this? AGH! It infuriates me that there is still so much ignorance.
The only good thing about his foolish "essay" (and I give the credit to you, Prof. J) is that it reminded me of when I was a "ridiculous" feminist who spelled "women" womyn in all of my college papers. I'm still proud of that version of me.
Many, many, many good things should come your way as repayment for dealing with/attempting to teach this guy.

February 16, 2008 at 7:47 PM  
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