First comes love. . .

Then comes doing our level best to destroy the family.

Susan and I sat cross-legged on our bed last night and swore our undying love for one another. No witnesses, no music, no officials; just two happy gals staring into one another's eyes. I am very happy. It's funny, wearing this ring has made me a little self-conscious; I spent the day feeling like I had a neon sign on my forehead that said, "Look at my finger!" My office mate Mark said he felt the same way after he got married. Symbols are powerful things for English majors.

Now if only I could claim her on my health insurance.

"We learn to love by loving." Iris Murdoch


Lisa Milton said…
How lovely. I feel funny when I forget to put my ring back on my atrophied finger.

Very powerful.

Rima said…
I wish you many, many wonderful years together. Love is grand and, yes, a ring is a powerful symbol, indeed.
Zenmomma said…
Oh how wonderful! I'm so happy for you both. :o)
Congratulations and much love to you and Susan, your partner and helpmeet. May you have happiness, strength, health, and longevity.

BTW, even though Goodridge v. DPH has been in effect in Massachusetts for several years now, I will have you know that Teh Gays have not torn my marriage asunder, nor the marriages of anyone I know. And the wedding planning industry is booming. : )
Mary Alice said…
Congratulations to you and your Susan. I remember feeling so conscious of the weight of my ring the first few days. It weighed really nothing and yet it was so THERE.

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. ~Robert Browning
Mike Golch said…
congrats to you and Susan,I wish the best for the both of you.
I think that is a disgrace that health care cannot be given to the same sex relationships.I think that the bigotted reglious right should not be so snobbish about who can and cann provide health care for thier mates.God bless the both of you.
Mrs. G. said…
"Symbols are powerful things for English majors." Even in the tenderest of confessions, you crack me up.

May you both have a lifetime of love and laughter.
Peggy Sez.. said…
Well there you are! Falling in love and doing symbolic ring things.Congrats to you and Susan!

P.S. *MUMBLE/FROWN..Stupid health insurance people*
K. said…
Congratulations! What a sweet and wonderful surprise to wake up to on this Valentine's morning, makes me genuinely teary-eyed. (I pretend to be a cynic on the outside, but true love always makes me all mushy.)

Here's to you and to Susan, to your beautiful family, to a future with health insurance and a better world that we will all reach one day, step by determined step, even if it kills us.
Melanie said…
Sounds pretty perfect. Warmest wishes and congratulations to you both!

And, someday soon, the rest of the country is going to figure out that your beautiful ring and life and health insurance forms are absolutely none of their beeswax.

Happy Valentine's!
PunditMom said…
How lovely! And, yes, the health insurance thing would be great. I hope one of these days our country will catch up with the rest of the civilized world.
Danger Panda said…
Congratulations and many Happy Valentines Days to you both!
OMG congratulations!!! I'm thrilled for you, really. What wonderful news!
Congratulations, Professor J.

And here's to hoping you WILL be able to claim her on your health insurance SOON.

Cheri said…
Woo hoo! Congratulations! Mazel Tov! And Happy Valentine's Day! What a lovely message and a lovely ring.

I wish you could claim Susan on your health insurance too. It will happen. We will keep doing the good work toward it, and teaching our kids to do the work too.
a. beaverhausen said…
I think if you worked for could claim her on insurance. At least, I think that's what all the big stink was from the Fundamentalist/Cyborgs who think that all Mickey Mouse fans need to be hetero. Whatev!

So glad for you. I remember feeling like such a "poser" when I first wore my ring, too. I think it's normal. But WAY cool.
Melanie said that very well.

Health and happiness to both of you. Congratulations.
Sunshine said…
Wow, your post is so poignant for me today. Our kids were opening Valentines and my youngest daughter (newly 4) noticed my wedding ring and wanted to try it on. As I put it on her finger, it made me think of her many years from now and how I hope that whoever puts a ring on her finger makes her truly happy and feel completely loved. I also hope it happens in a world where she has no fear of judgment from others were she to love someone of another color and/or someone of the same gender. I want my kids to love someone who loves them back and to wear a ring, like yours, with pride and love.

It's beautiful!
Claire B. said…
100 years of happiness to you and Susan!

Keep exploding those family values, gurlz!

We must have equality. We must. I will fight for you.
Laura said…
That's the sweetest thing I've read this Valentine's Day. Or near Valentine's Day. I live in Virginia, which passed the Stupid and Hurtful "Marriage Ammendment" to the state constitution two years ago. For shame. It took this state until 1967 to recognize interracial marriages as legal. Lots of ignorance and hate here.

But that is not very cheerful and uplifting! Congratulations! :) What a time of joy for you both. xxx
Julie Pippert said…
Hold on...let me check...

Okay. I'm back.

Nope. My family isn't destroyed and my marriage is still the same as it ever was.

I guess it's a myth, a superstition, this whole thing that same sex marriage affects "traditional" relationships.

Not to underestimate your impact (EEKS!! I said impact) on the world. You are clearly Very Important.

Just apparently how you live your life doesn't appear to do any harm to anything.

In fact, I daresay you just did the world a good thing by adding some lovely and positive energy marrying your soul mate.

Vows exchanged in your bedroom. How romantic and perfect.

Nice ring and oh yes, the symbolism. I still feel it all these years later.

Here's to congratulations and wishes for many more happy times together for a long while yet!
supertiff said…
your valentine's week was WAY better then mine.
Irish Goddess said…
Awwww, how lovely! Commitment, and symbols of such, are indeed powerful things. And I couldn't agree more about the health insurance.
piscesgrrl said…
Hallo, I wandered over from beanpaste, and just in time to say congratulations! I am touched by this post. May your life together be filled with much love and laughter.
JCK said…
Thank you for sharing this with us. I wish you many, many years of love and happiness with Susan.

I loved your English Majors comment - made me smile, too.

And I remember feeling the "weight" of my ring for a while....


Many congratulations!

And I think that we should have a Quaker Blog Marriage Ceremony for you, and all chime in as virtual witnesses. ;-)

"Come out of the circle of time
And into the circle of love."


And that is your ring symbolic.
Hi Professor J -

Let me echo some other sentiments...

I hope that one day soon you will be able to claim Susan on your health insurance.
I hope you have many wonderful happy years together.
May you always find comfort and peace with one another.
anne said…
Congratulations to both you and Susan, and best wishes for many, many happy years together.
we_be_toys said…
Congratulations to you both! I wish you both long life and great happiness together.
-sniff!! I love weddings! - sniff!!
Mrs. T said…
Congratulations! I hope you both always feel this way.
re: the ring- I feel very self-conscious when I forget to wear my ring- like I need to explain to everyone that I just forgot my ring, that my marriage is just fine, we're not fighting or anything.
And for the record, I find it completely insulting and demeaning when that idiot who is our president says things like "gay marriage puts the institution of marriage at risk". Excuse me, but my marriage is just fine without the Christian Right "protecting it".
Poo on the insurance companies!!!
Susan Carlin said…
You all have touched me deeply by your sweet responses to our commitment to each other. I want to print them out to read as antidotes when antidotes are necessary. Thank you.
Ginaagain said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ginaagain said…
I'm late to the party as usual! Congratulations to you both. I hope the insurance issue will change very soon. I do believe that change is coming.. it's time.
How WONDERFUL!!!!! Congratulations!
Anonymous said…
I'm late, as well, but sending heartfelt wishes your way. Congratulations.

I agree with earlier posts, very astutely made. Teach the children about love in all its myriad forms, and therein lies hope and some modicum of defence against anything that threatens to sully it.

Best wishes, always.

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