Professor J's Place

I saw this display at the gas station this afternoon, and I thought, "What an intersting idea, a roll of paper for writing notes--Neat!" No comment.

Aww. . .

One of the benefits of having a puppy is watching how my old dogs respond. Dinah, the 106 pound, ten year-old labrador retriever has been frightened. She runs out of the room when Bess shows any interest in her. Alice, the eleven year-old hound dog has not been frightened, but she is often crabby and disinterested. But yesterday, Bess gave the girls a lesson in playing. They actually romped around the yard a little bit. It is a true joy to watch the old gals re-learning how to stick their butts up in the air and paw the puppy with glee. I may post a video as soon as I get my camera back.

This Thursday I received a lovely note from my friend, BipolarLawyerCook , who wished me a good Thanksgiving, no matter what substances I had to take in order to get through it. Well, this has been a rough month. I've had stomach and other related illnesses, I've had to change my antidepressant because it wasn't working anymore, and, of course, I ended my relationship and moved back to my old house--largely by myself. So, when I think about self medicating, I'm serious. On Wednesday, I decided it was either heroin or this: This is Bess. Bess is four months old and almost 14 pounds. The folks at the humane society thought she was a 10 week old Lab, but she is not. She has tiny ears, a short nose, and a tail that curls up. She is also quite small. I am not at all sure what she is, except darling. Any thoughts?

You all remember my BFF, Heidi Well, we were talking the other day, and she said she really dreads this first Christmas without Eion. I understood. After all, I'm rather dreading the holidays (and my 50th birthday) without a partner, and we weren't together nearly as long. And S. , thankfully, is alive and well. We both bemoaned the fact that neither of us could afford to travel to be with the other. Indeed, if Heidi could come here, she could see her sons and her other American friends. So I got to thinking. Could each of us afford half of the air fare and the dog boarding? I looked it up. I could. I called her. She could. And she could get off of work. And so, Heidi's coming to San Antonio for my birthday, Christmas, and New Years!!! And Michelle's talking about coming up after the first of the year, too. Yea!!!

Joni Mitchell once wrote, "All I really, really want our love to do is to bring out the best in me and in you, too." It didn't. My partner and I have separated. We tried. We really tried. I am embarrassed to admit this. I even considered erasing this blog from the internet so that I would not embarrass myself or her. But my whole purpose in blogging was to have some kind of a community where I could be open and explore my writing in a personal way. You have shared the good things with me. You have seen my ugly 5K Ass Project photos. It would feel cowardly to just disappear. Plus, I could use the support.

This is the line this morning at 8:45 at UTSA. I am so proud.

The other night, Susan and I were having a discussion about McCain and Palin and their liberal use of the word maverick . I said that I rather resented the use of Maury Maverick's name by a couple of right-wing nuts. After all, among liberal Texans, especially liberal San Antonians, Maverick is a name that evokes some of the finest memories. Susan hastened to inform me that a maverick is an unbranded cow or horse. Yes, I said, but I'm sure it comes from the name Maverick first--at least that's what I've always heard. Since all of this was pillow talk (aren't you guys jealous?), I waited until morning to look it up. It turns out that we were both right and both a little bit off. The word maverick does indeed stem from the men of the Maverick clan, but it comes from Samuel Maverick (Maury's grandfather) who was a signer of the Texas Declaration of Independence and a great liberal who, by the way, didn't brand his cattle. So an unbranded cow was often called ...

My bloggy friends, I have been unfaithful to you. I have been spending all of my computer time on Spark People . This is a weight loss website similar to many others, I am sure. I know it is similar to Weight Watchers. It offers food and exercise tracking, a recipe calculator, advice and information, exercise videos, blogs and support groups. And it's free. So, two weeks ago, Susan and I joined a group called TOPS club , inc, and we started using Spark People. In other words, my ass project started in earnest. This may well be a good combination of programs for me. The TOPS group is something I never imagined I would do. People join together once a week to weigh in, sing songs, report whether they have gained or lost (out loud--in front of everyone), sing more songs, and talk a little about diet and lifestyle changes. It is corny and goofy, and I kind of like it (after I got over feeling uncomfortable and a little superior to it all). And, of course, I like being online and playing...

"The Democrats underestimate Palin at great risk." --Michele Norris (NPR) We need to focus here, folks! The stupid commentators (are you listening Bill Maher?) who joke about Palin's inability to lead because of her gender are working against us. Focus on the record. --Palin is against abortion even in the case of rape, incest, or the health of the mother. (Though perhaps it is acceptable to save the life of the mother.) --Palin is for drilling for oil in delicate ecosystems. --Palin said we "should not be afraid" of going to war with Russia over Georgia. --Palin does not believe in evolution. --Palin believes in "abstinence only" sex education. --Palin says we should not ban assault rifles. Is that not enough? We can also look at the serious allegations that face Palin about abuse of power, nepotism, and book banning. And we can look at the truth (or lack there of) in some of her claims. The fact that she took the money for the "bridge to nowhere...

Thank you darlings for your notes of concern. I have many things to write about: my trip to Northern Ireland to bury one friend and offer small comfort to another, Sarah Palin (because sometimes a vagina is not enough), and the changes in my life (once I figure out a way to do that with some semblance of decorum). In the mean time, I am beginning new semesters at three schools and preparing to move--it's been a heck of a summer, gals! I'll be back. And I'll be checking in on you all.

Here's Prof. J before coffee or comb. I gained two pounds last week and then lost them--leaving me even. I did, however lose 1/2 an inch on my waist and 1 inch on my hips. So that's progress, I guess.

Tropic Thunder opened in theaters today. It is a satire of adventure/war movies and self important actors starring Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr. What's not to like? Plenty. This morning, when I was watching Good Morning America and drinking my coffee, Ben Stiller assured me that the frequent repetition of words like "retarded" and "retard" are meant to make fun of actors , not intellectually challenged people. I suppose I'm just too tight assed to "get it," Ben. When you use the word retarded to make fun of people, you are not making fun of actors. Retarded means "slow development." It is comparable to nigger, kike, or faggot when used as an insult. It's not funny. This is very much like the discussion we all had when Don Imus opened his big mouth one too many times. There are many people who are arguing that "political correctness" has robbed us of our sense of humor and made us a nation of uptight maiden ...

Heidi and her granddog Heidi is the kind of woman who makes you love women. We met when we were both undergraduate English majors in the 1990's--we were both "returning students." Heidi is one of those people who collect strays. All the strange little people in the English and Political Science departments buzzed around her like flies on a hot day. It was a little off-putting,to tell the truth. Heidi was one of the three smartest students in the department. We were all returning students--all odd ducks. And we weren't friends. Finally, one spring semester we were all in the same class. Fiction. Heidi and I were assigned to do a presentation and lead the class discussion on The Damnation of Theron Ware . Our professor later admitted that she thought we would both hate the novel and the process of working together. It was quite the opposite. We met one Saturday morning at 8:00 am at the IHop near the campus. We both loved the novel! We sat and talked until 2:00 about th...

Here I am. No different, I think. This is just before I worked out this morning. It was great! The diet is still my biggest problem. Send me will power vibes, will you?

Okay, this is not my official picture for the Ass Project this week--I'll post new pics as soon as Susan gets home from work and snaps them for me. However, this is a picture of my posterior that was taken on the great art festival of St. Susan's day (last Saturday), so it is recent. I plan to have a weekly photo of me in my workout clothes -- sorry, I just am not brave enough for the granny panties. Here is my plan: I will exercise at least five days a week. I will do strength training three days a week and do cardio everyday (though I will feel free to take off one or two days a week). I've been exercising this summer, but I haven't been working on my diet. So, although Mrs. G's program does not include diet, I believe I will try to cut back on the fats and on bread. Here's the weekly update: On Monday, I met with my trainer Adrian. (Yo.) I did 15 minutes on the elliptical machine, and then we did a good deal of lifting and other exercises for a total of a ...

Mrs. G has a small tribute to Ingmar Bergman's comedy genius on her recent post about Ikea . It reminded me of a parody by one of my favorite British comedy teams-- French and Saunders. I couldn't figure out how to imbed this video, so just click here .

(And I'm not saying that McCain is a misogynist old fart who will drive us straight to hell, if given the opportunity.) The juiciest part starts at around 5:37--in case you don't want to listen to the smarmy old goat.

Today is my beloved Susan's birthday. I would make a joke about her age, but she sweetly informed me earlier that, while the first five or six comments were uproariously funny, it was wearing a little thin. Today is all about Susan. About a month ago, I asked Susan what she would like to do for her birthday. Travel? Go to a nice hotel downtown? Go to a spa? She said that what she really wanted was to visit the art museums here in town. Am I lucky or what? If someone offered me the same opportunity, I might say "Let's buy some fire-engine red lipstick and go kiss Oscar Wilde's grave!" (Not that I am a HUGE fan--but who can resist Paris?) But Susan opted for San Antonio. So today, after we stop by the gallery and help the new artist open up, we're off to see art. Our first stop will probably be The San Antonio Museum of Art. Neither one of us has been there for some time, so it will be fun. They have a great collection of Precolumbian art and some nice Ameri...

I have the great honor of guest posting at Derfwad Manor. Check it out!

My friend Carolyn died this morning. She was --I don't know--79? 78? Carolyn was an amazing woman. She had polio as a young girl and in her later life developed what they call "post polio syndrome." All the time I knew her, she was on those crutches you see beside her. Carolyn was a social worker, an English teacher, a civil servant, and I don't know what else. She lived in Turkey for several years, developing many life-long friends. I met her in 1992 when I had just moved back to Texas. She and my friend Jane went with me to see Romeo and Juliet in the park. Like my mother, Carolyn was a volunteer at CASA (Child Advocates San Antonio), where she met with children who were in the family court system and acted as a go between for all of the different services and the court. She also volunteered at the San Antonio Public Library and the San Antonio Zoo. Carolyn was a world traveler. Besides her life in Turkey, Carolyn took trips to Europe, Alaska, South America, Greece,...

Saturday was the six week anniversary of working out at the gym. Of course, I did have two and a half weeks when I was sick and didn't attend the gym at all, but for the most part, I'm there every day. I am getting much more stamina in the gym. I used to think 30 minutes on the treadmill was good, and now I walk on the tread mill only after I've done the "real" workout. I see it as a way to cool down. I've even started to do "core work" (groan) every day. I'm still working twice a week with Adrian and now, I look like this: Okay, maybe not so much. I have been shocked, to tell the truth, at how slow my weight loss has been. Of course, exercise is only part of the solution, but I am more active than I have ever been, and I thought that activity would do the trick. I guess that folks were telling the truth when they said that it's hard to lose weight when you're approaching 50. Nevertheless, I have lost a couple of inches, I do feel stronge...

I n 1995, I spent ten glorious days in San Francisco, walking through the neighborhoods, eating falafels, visiting City Lights bookstore, and glorying in the environment. There were two highlights of my trip. One day, after visiting Coit Tower and those marvelous murals, I walked down an improbable street that is really a stair case, and saw the infamous Parrots of Telegraph Hill . And, I was there when Jerry Garcia died. Why was that significant? Because the hippies came to San Francisco from every corner of the world. They drove their VW Microbuses to the Haight, and there were impromptu altars on three of the four corners of Haight-Ashbury (there was no shrine in front of The Gap). I remember walking the streets with my friend Lisa (who was ten years younger than I and who had never heard of The Grateful Dead) and I told her that this day, this time, was the closest I could ever come to experiencing the summer of love . I was a tad too young to experience the San Francisco of t...

You all know that I am a die-hard Senator Clinton fan . I have loved her and supported her through campaign misteps and misstatements in large part because she offered us the first (and possibly only) opportunity to vote for a good person who was also a woman. But now that is over. I keep hearing that there are many women who are sad and angry and ready to vote for Senator McCain. I keep hearing that women need a reason (besides the war and healthcare and Roe) to vote for Obama. Okay, my feminist friends, here it is. Carol McCain. Carol McCain is Senator McCain's first wife. She is the woman who waited for him while he was in Vietnam. She is the woman who had a tragic automobile accident while John was a prisoner of war and had to undergo losing much of her mobility, four inches of her height, and much of her "classic" beauty without his help. And then McCain returned from Vietnam and opted for the life of a playboy and a star without his faithful, and still beautiful wi...

Ten days or so ago, I went to my regular weight watcher's meeting and found that, once again, I did not lose any weight. Yes. I was watching my weight stabilize. SO, I went to our local gym and signed up. Not only did I sign up, I paid for several sessions with a personal trainer. This is Adrian, my torturer personal trainer. I have worked with him three times, and boy am I sore! I am hoping that this new emphasis on physical activity will do the trick. I brought Morgan along with me a few times, and she is having fun with the water exercise classes. They've been great with her, so I am a big fan of Gold's gym.

http://www.utsa.edu/today/2008/05/gardner.cfm

My dear friend and my boss, Judith Gardner, died this Thursday afternoon. Judy was a great woman. She was smart--one of the few remaining writing program directors with "only" a Master's degree. I know that the university had to ignore its own policies to retain Judy, but it is to their great credit that they did. She was the most committed worker I knew. She worked up until two weeks before her death. Through surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, and all of the assorted madness, Judy was there. Heck, I call in for a bad headache! But she didn't judge me or others for being weaker than she. Judy was kind and loving and committed to her friends, her coworkers, and all of our students. Every single teacher in the writing department (I think there are 63 of us) considers Judy a mentor and a friend. How did she manage that? And Judy's last words to me, though neither of us knew they'd be her last, were, "I love you, kiddo." I love you, too, Judy. And I...

Last night Susan and I went to a local bar to see these guys . Their average age is 14, I think, but they're a talented bunch of kids. Besides, it was fun to get out of the house--just the two of us!

Mrs. T. at Chuchería tagged me for this meme, and it seems as good a way as any to take a break between grading essays. Here are the rules: 1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. 2. Each player answers the questions about her or himself. 3. At the end of the post, tag 5-6 people and posts their names, then go to their blogs and leave them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog. 4. Let the person who tagged you know when you've posted your answer. What was I doing ten years ago? I was a senior in college (a returning student). I was having a great deal of fun feeling incredibly smart and talented. I believe I was taking Women's Writing, The Twentieth Century Novel (that wasn't the course name, but it was the course function), Rhetoric (a grad class for undergrad credit), and Research Methods (a political science course). Those were heady times. What are five things on my "to do" list today? 1. Grade pa...

Albert Hofmann is dead. (Not to be confused with Abbie Hoffman , who died almost twenty years ago and was a frequent user of the drug Dr. Hofmann created.) Albert Hofmann is the Swiss chemist who created LSD. It has been some time since the days of the "spirituality" of drug use has been a hot topic. Most of the men who championed that idea are dead. What is it about human consciousness that we seek to alter it? Why do we enjoy a distorted reality? And we do. Even if the hardest drug we ever ingest is gin. I think that self awareness makes us want to understand how the brain works--we'd like to take it apart like a legos creation and figure out what happens if we put it together differently . More than that, Hofmann believed that LSD would help us become aware that we are one with the universe--that all creation is connected. LSD, he thought, should be used a spiritual ritual. Of course, Hofmann hoped for more than a drug that would help people commune with nature. He had...

I am still struggling through the end of the semester. For those of you who don't know, let me tell you what an idiot I really am. I teach composition full time (four sections) at our local satellite school. I also teach composition and literature part time (two sections) for an adult degree completion program at a local private university. Last summer, I took on a section of World Literature online, as well. Yes, my fellow university people, I had seven sections--two full time jobs plus. Well, this term, a fellow teacher was unable to fulfill his commitment to the online classes he was assigned, and we didn't know until two weeks into the term. So when my dean contacted me in desperation, what was I to say? I do know the word no. I just don't seem to be able to say it. So now, I'm teaching 9 sections, which a normal school would call three full time schedules. And most of those sections (7) are composition. Are you getting a sense of my idiocy yet? Of course, I'm n...

Take the Quiz here!

Today before class I went to the cafeteria for a sugar free, fat free, flavor reduced smoothie. "Would you like a booster with that?" "Yes. Vodka." It's been a long morning.

There's a cat in the neighborhood who wanted to come live with us. That is, until she met Joel.

I'm about mid-way through that pile of papers (okay, more like a server full of documents), but I had to share this with you. Jozet sent it to me, and you know how I heart her. I was lecturing the other day and I said, "I am not endorsing any political candidate," and one of my students said, "Oh yeah? I've read your blog!" Busted.

Don't expect much anything from me for awhile. Just one question: do you suppose I'm burning calories doing this?

I stole this from Gina at Ginaagain. What kind of dog are you? I'm a Labrador Retriever! Just a bit of trivia. In my profile on Match dot com, I said that I was a Labrador Retriever with a good vocabulary. I guess I'm not the only one who thinks so.

I was reading one of my favorite blogs the other day, and I was struck by my friend BipolarLawyerCook's list of things to do in life. One of the "things" was "Look for something beautiful everyday." I thought that she was so right--it is essential that we remember that the world is a wonderful place and we celebrate beauty wherever we see it. This isn't too hard for me to do on a regular basis. I live in a beautiful home in a beautiful city; I live with two beautiful women, two beautiful dogs, a beautiful cat. I live a life I love, and I am surrounded by art--Susan's and other people's. What's not to find beautiful? But sometimes I get a special treat. Susan goes to sleep later than I. Of course, she gets up some two hours after I do, but she also seems to be able to get by on much less sleep than I require. Anyway, I often get up at five and she has done lovely things. She'll have cleaned the kitchen, or posted on her blog, or, on specia...

This is my friend Patty's dog. See? Doesn't the camera take a nice little video? And Doesn't the professor have a lovely voice? And this is why I get happy when I'm walking.

But mine's pink. This little guy takes thirty minutes of video and plugs right into the computer for downloading! Plus, the video isn't half bad! Me likey.

When I was an undergraduate, there was a young man in the English department, another student, who was a bit of a jerk. I remember one March day when he was complaining about the women’s history activities on campus, and he said, “We have black history month, and we have women’s history month. When are we going to have White Men’s History Month?” I reacted to this query in much the same way that I reacted to everything Andy had to say—with a sneer and a snort. “Every month is white men’s history month. Have you ever taken a history or literature class?” He didn’t like me very much. A couple of weeks ago—after the Texas primaries— Julie asked me to write about why I had decided to support Hillary Clinton and become a delegate for her. Obviously, I haven’t done so yet. Indeed, I find it difficult to continue my support in the face of so much negative campaigning. Of course, I have obligated myself to be a delegate and to support Senator Clinton, so clarifying my reasons for supporting ...

It is not Stormy Weather, but dang.

I stole this idea from the Irish Goddess . She has a couple of wonderful posts about women who have influenced her--you should check it out! Mama tells me that from the age of four until I was six or so, I used to stand on the picnic table in our back yard and enact a specific scene. "Ladies and Gentlemen," I would holler , "MISS JUDY GAARRLANDDD !" I would then applaud wildly while I took my stand in front of the imaginary microphone to sing "Stormy Weather," or "Happiness is Just a Thing Called Joe," or any one of my many other favorite songs. I do remember that my first purchase of a record album was a Judy Garland disk (I still have it), and I was inconsolable when she died. And I can still do a mean "Stormy Weather." Am I saying that Garland was a feminist icon? No, of course not. But Judy Garland was my introduction to a powerful woman who allowed her power to destroy her. It was her passion and her vulnerability that made her a g...

Bloggy friends, Are you sitting down? Oh, right. Anyway, I have big news! Last night I got a call from my cousin Butch (hereafter known as the best cousin a girl could have or BC). Well, BC had donated 250.00 to the Clinton campaign in order to attend a breakfast with the candidate. AND HE COULDN'T GO! So, would I mind filling in for him? Well, OK. I'm all about the family. So, I went to the Hyatt Regency this morning, and who is introducing Senator Clinton? That's right. . . Gloria Steinem. Yes, my friends, The . Gloria. Steinem. Of course, the 250.00 tickets were the cheap seats (read, no seats at all--we just stood in the back), so most of my pictures of Senator Clinton ended up looking like this. And this. And this. Yes, that is a man with thinning hair in front of the senator. Before the speeches, I heard a rumor that Gloria Steinem was going to be speaking at Justin's Ice Cream Parlor later in the day. So I high-tailed it down there and I met Gloria Steinem. ...